So many things to do....

Have you ever had so much you want to accomplish but just don't feel you have the time.  Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now.  I have a lot of stuff coming up in the next year and I really want it to reflect in my weight loss.  For example I have a big birthday coming up in just 182 very short days.  The big 29+1 lol.  I would REALLY like to be down as much as possible before this date.  So here's the thing.... I am currently down 60 lbs.  I would ideally like to be down another 70 lbs by the time the big day rolls around.  182 days, 26 weeks, 6 months to lose another 70lbs.  Doable?  Yes, of course. 


Now for the bigger issue....November 24, 2012.  I have a destination wedding in Punta Cana!  Now if I follow through with my 70lb weight loss by March, that leaves me 8 months to lose an additional 100lbs.  Am I insane? Yes, of course.  Ok realistically I know that this goal is a little far fetched HOWEVER I am going to attempt the task at hand.  Granted I will be happy with however much I am actually down at this point but I would really love to sink my teeth into my goal(ish) weight. 


So here we are ladies and gentlemen, 170 lbs. of weightloss by November 24, 2012.  Yeah, that number makes me want to choke a bit too but I am going to give it all I've got.  The upside is being that I have so much weight to lose, there is a good chance that I will achieve my March goal.  Once I have reached my goal(ish) weight I can start looking into the skin removal surgery.  THAT is a major win in itself.  Only time will tell now.  Cross your fingers and wish me luck.  Gym time starts at 21:30hrs hahaha.  I'll let you guys all know how it goes YAY!  


Till then...

60 lbs in 4 months

So I went to the doctors today for my fluoroscopy and fill.  Ended up getting another 1.5ccs in my band which brings me to a total of 5.5ccs.  Didn't expect to lose anything this time around because I haven't been going to the gym and my food choices haven't been the greatest.  Not terrible but not great.  Portion control was still ok and really wasn't eating just to eat so I think that helped me. 

So after all my procedures we went back to his office and he weighed me.  I was pretty shocked to see that I actually did lose weight!  I am now at a grand total of 60lbs lost in 4 months.  That's pretty awesome.  I can't wait to see what happens when I really start kicking the gym thing into high gear.  Now I'm on liquids for the next 24 hours.  Lucky me lol. 


Anyway I have another appointment next month so I will update again then unless I find something else to blog about.


Til Then....

Depression

So since the end of June I have been in a serious battle with depression.  I had some very serious losses the last couple of months and they have definitely taken their toll on me.  Me eating habits have been shitty but at least I'm not gaining so I guess thats a sort of win for me.  I have also been having anxiety attacks like crazy.  I did see a doctor about this and they are doing what they can to help me.


I have been feeling very alone lately.  Kind of like my life isn't really my own.  I'm just living to exist.  I know I need to get out of this mind frame somehow I just need to figure out how I'm going to do it.  Anyway this is why I haven't bothered to post anything.  


I go for a fluoroscopy tomorrow and get another fill hopefully as long as nothing is wrong with my port.  I'll update again once I know what happens. 


Till Then....

3 Months Out

Ok so TECHNICALLY I still have 2 more days until I'm 3 months out but being I only update on Dr. visits I figure I better get this done.  So after my last fill I had a few rough days of trying to eat solids but eventually I went back to feeling pretty much the same way I was before.  I just seem to be getting stuck more often. I just have to remember less speed, more chewing lol.  


Anyway since my last fill I have been ridiculously stressed out from personal issues.  My uncle passed away, a week later one of the closest people to me basically waved the white flag on our friendship for a while. (That's a whole other story in itself but that's not for this blog) and now on 7/12 my "great grandmother" passed away.  Not an ideal situation for food choices.  Then of course there is the ever so wonderful "everyday run of the mill" stress.  So with all of this going on I have been on and off sick to my stomach.  Dr. Pucci says that stress can effect the band that way so I guess I won what was behind door #3.  


I have been really emotional this last month but I guess I can understand why.  This year so far has been such a roller coaster. Ups and downs and curves and loops......I don't know which way is up.  I've been going through a lot of stuff on the inside too.  Rethinking my outlook on things.


Ok enough about all that.  I didn't get another fill yet because he was having a really difficult time  getting the needle to go into the port so now I have to go for an xray next week and hopefully get my fill then.  I lost another 10.5 lbs which makes my total 53 lbs.  Not bad for 3 months especially being I haven't started the gym yet (hopefully Friday) and my food choices as good as I tried to make them weren't quite as good as they could have been.  


Well after my appointment next week I will blog again.  Till then.....

First Fill

So FINALLY I got my first fill.  4ccs in a 10cc band....woah!  The first three days were kind of tough, getting stuck left and right.  Now I'm good but now know I still need more fill.  I go back again on July 12th to get more but I'm gonna have to really start working harder on what I'm doing.  I will finally have a car so it is GYM TIME asap!  Soooo excited!  I can't wait to get this going in full effect.  I have been slipping up with my shakes and really haven't had the greatest selections of food to choose from this last week.  My uncle passing away put a damper on that.  I have determined that my shock collar does NOT like stress.  Papaya enzyme has quickly become my new best friend.  I have been dealing with a lot of personal issues as well so that doesn't help.  I love all of the support that I get from everyone but one very important person to me hasn't really been there so that hasn't been easy to deal with.  Whoever said silence is golden is full of....well you know.  Hopefully he's overcoming the hurdles that he needs to as well.  Anyway only down another 1.5 but I know at weigh in I was retaining.  Gotta love that TOM.  Hoping that next weigh in will be much more pleasing.  It should be once I start doing the gym thing.  Cross your fingers for me.  I'll update again soon.  Till then....

Week 6

So I went to the doctors yesterday.  I am still swollen around my port so I could not get my fill again however I am still losing so he isn't all that concerned about it yet.  He stuck a needle in it and there is no infection so I am just waiting for the swelling to go away.  I am now down 41 lbs in 6 weeks.  That's pretty exciting.  Don't really have the "guilt" about eating solids anymore.  Once in a while it does kick in but other than that it hasn't been to bad.  Been pretty stressed out lately so the head hunger is in full effect but I've been keeping my head in check so that's a good thing.  My next goal is to be at my 50lb mark by the 14th.  That gives me 2 weeks to lose 9 lbs.  Definitely gonna start working out more now.  The weather has been insanely hot so it would be great to sweat it out of  me lol.  Well off to do my thing.  Dr. appointment on the 14th so I'll update again then.  New pics below so check them out!  Till then...

Progress pics after 4 weeks

Side View Pics taken 5/11 31 lbs down

Front View Pics taken 5/11 31 lbs down