The Uneven Bars

Do you remember the first time you quit something?  Doesn't matter what the reason behind it was, do you remember?  I do.  


My first real recollection of quitting was when I was about 7 years old.  My entire life I would always strive to be the best at things, even as a little kid.  I have always had a very competitive personality.  I don't like to lose, but really who does?  


I started taking gymnastics when I was 5 or 6.  I was in an intermediate class and after a few months the coaches decided that they wanted to move me into an advanced class.  I was in my glory!  That meant I was going above and beyond and THAT was the ultimate goal.  I was still one of the best in my class and I was now with kids 10 and older.  


I was in this class for about 2 months and then one day the coaches said "Today we are doing the uneven bars."  Fear struck me like I was electrocuted.  Tumbling and beams, horses and rings?  No problem, but the thought of the uneven bars had me paralyzed.  Now in my own free time I use to play around on the uneven bars with no problem, and frankly I was fairly good at it but when the thought "I may not be the best at this" came into my mind I was horror struck.  I ran to the locker room, called my mom to come pick me up and never went back.


I have realized that many times in my life I have come across a lot of uneven bar moments.  I let the fear of not being the best at something consume me.  It's weird to think like that. Just because you aren't "the best" doesn't mean that you were a failure.  Since starting this weight loss journey this has really hit home for me and changed.  I have come to terms with the fact that although I may not be the best over all I have to live as the best ME possible.  It's hard to push past that mentality and I catch myself slipping a lot ( I mean hey this is all new to me lol) but instead of giving in, now I'm trying to push myself just a little bit harder.


I find myself at the gym saying "Can you go another 2 minutes....yes?" or "Ok, give me 5 more than last time....ok"  Most times I find myself going above and beyond what I'm asking of myself and in my book that's a personal win.  I have to stop worrying about what others see, or want from me and just be the best me possible.  It's time to take on the uneven bars of life head on.  Till next time....